preraphprincess (preraphprincess) wrote in writers_niche,

The Lust of My Life

 I've been thinking, as I so often do, about what it actually is that makes us physically attracted to someone. Why is it that people generally have 'types' and what is it that sometimes attracts us to someone who is not 'our type'.
I'll be honest. I like pondering this because it gives me an excuse to dwell on my various crushes.

My current favourite is Ray Davies of Kinks fame. Not as he is now, I hasten to add (he's 66, and I'll be honest, hasn't worn well) but through the 60s, 70s and 80s he was damn sexy. Not what you would call handsome, with his long lugubrious face and deepset, mad eyes. He carried off the louche, scruffy gender bending 70s hair exceptionally well as it balanced out a wide jaw and allowed attention to focus on his sexiest feature - full sensual lips. He played these up to the full by pouting provocatively at every opportunity. To really see Ray at his best you need to watch some live footage of him strutting his camp stuff in concert.

Most of the men I'm attracted to do follow a type. They're generally tall, slim, and pale, with dark hair and long angular faces. I like strong features and large noses, faces with 'character'. I'm often drawn to slightly goofy types - I find them endearing. A little cheekiness and naughtiness are also irresistible.

An old favourite is Ioan Gruffudd, of 'Amazing Grace' and 'Fantastic Four' fame. No cheekiness there, but he's just adorable. Again, a very sexy mouth, and a lovely long nose that just seems to go on forever.

What is it about noses? Maybe a nose gives a face most of its character and definition. Lips are soft and sensual, eyes are vulnerable and eloquent, but a nose is strong and silent. It is the most prominent feature (unless you're really unlucky!) and the rest of the face seems to be anchored by it. A nose is dependable and generally unchangeable, and takes the brunt of blows directed at us. Maybe that is why I think of a large defined nose as manly.

James McAvoy (most recently seen in Atonement and Wanted) is another firm favourite. A fabulously cheeky grin, with (again) a nose of some character, and enormous, passionate and intelligent eyes. Yes, he's short. About the same height as me, in fact. But we're told by a reliable source that 'love covers a multitude of sins' and I can only add that, well, I have lots of lovely shoes that just happen to be flat case he ever asks me for a date.

Most people will say that you're attracted to people who look like your parents, and I think maybe they're right. Sexual preferences and proclivities seem to owe a lot to early life experiences and our relationships with our parents or caregivers. My parents are both dark haired. My mother is tall and rather Amazonian, with huge eyes and a wide full mouth. She has teeth which are far from perfect, and has a broken nose which was not reset properly. Despite this, she was, and is, very beautiful - exceptionally so, far more than I am.

My father (with whom I have always had a troubled relationship) is dark skinned, a fact to which I attribute my instinctive and probably unjustified distrust of other dark skinned men who might otherwise be absolutely stunning. He is rather short, small, slim and neat. People say my dad was very attractive as a young man, although I don't think he was all that. But maybe I just think that because he's my dad, and because I look so much like him. My dad doesn't have strong distinctive features, and his lips are shapely, but thin.

So - read into that what you will, folks. Is attraction nature or nurture? You decide..
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